If we are in an emotional mess, life and stress, work, relationships, everything, does your environment start to follow? I look around, and I see stacks of laundry that haven't been put away, dishes that have been in the sink for a few days, a bed that's un-made, stack of mail and bills that I have yet to go through. Maybe my emotional state is worse than I was figuring. I know I am stressed right now, I know I am dealing with a lot of emotional issues, but is there a way around the environmental overflow? I know, I know, force myself to get off my ass and clean and maintain my life rather than sitting down and blogging about it. But I am curious, has anyone ever seen everything follow their emotional suit? How do we stop the emotional levy from breaking, and affecting every aspect of our life? Or is it all simple a coincidence, we just stress so much and have so much going on in our lives and cleaning and maintaining our environment takes a back seat to everything.
When the levy breaks, do we know it, or is it too late? When our emotional well being starts invading every other aspect of our lives, how do you deal without drowning in the flood of it all? Id like to think I am one who maintains good control of my life, but right now the littlest things are making me feel like that levy broke and I'm drowning in messes, and un-done to do lists, missed workouts and faded energy.
Missing runs and workouts has left me feeling vulnerable and confused. I cant decide whether to be angry at myself and force myself to get out there, or to just let it go and give myself the time (even though I don't have the time to waste, training is a full time gig). But is being hard on myself going to make things any better? Does guilting myself into feeling bad actually help me in the long run or is it just adding fuel to the emotional fire? My goal for this coming marathon was to have fun with it and take it easy and go into it with the mentality of one last one for the year. But I cant help from being stressed about it, wanting to do well, wanting to PR or BQ. Wanting to prove to everyone that I can succeed at more than just shorter races. I have done 2 marathons already this year and plenty of other races, Been successful, but something leaves me with this lingering feeling of failure. None of my training for any of my races has been great, too many missed workouts, too many shorted weeks or changed plans. I cant help but wonder if my emotional flood impacted that. Would my race outcomes have been different? I'm trying not to let this affect my attitude heading into the next marathon, but I know that it is.
How do we stop the flood? Is it even possible. If we cant control our emotional well being for a while, are we doomed to have it make a mess of everything else in our lives as well? Are we doomed to messy lives, missed workouts, un-motivated days, pushing the ones we love away?
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