Thursday, October 4, 2012
Oh what a difference a year makes(or does it?)
So it has been a little under a year since my last blog post...I suppose its time to start again.
As I sit here trying to look at how things have changed in a year, I realize how they are so much the same too. "The more things change the more they stay the same"
Some of the different, but yet not so different things from October 2011-October 2012
Relationship Status
Oct 2011: Long term relationship with someone who didn't respect the things that are important to me, took me for granted, I spent a LOT of time alone, I had to be the one to take care of everything, found myself looking for the things I needed in places they just would never be. Very emotional time, being with someone who doesn't make time for you (even when you live together), someone who doesn't make you feel wanted or needed or desired, someone who takes everything you do for them for granted, disrespects anything that's important to you, doesn't support you when you need it most....
Oct 2012: No longer in that relationship, spend a lot of time alone, but have a much better support system this year, struggling with trying to find someone who can give me what I need, and who will appreciate all I have to offer. The question still remains, will I ever find someone who will make me a priority?
Running Status
Oct 2011: Recovering from a #marathonfail, well not really...Rochester 26.2 was hardly a #marathonfail, it was PR, but not a BQ and the first time EVER having to walk during a race. Mentally I was struggling trying to tell myself that one race doesn't define you. I was training for a race (Harrisburg 26.2) that was going to be my redemption race. But more than anything my running was being fueled by the stress and emotional turmoil of everything going on in my life.
Oct 2012: Due to my shitty car accident in April (which left me with a totaled car, Broken foot, Nerve damage in my feet and legs, and a whole mess of other shit-tastic problems), I shouldn't be able to run right now. At the time doctors told me it would be at least 6 months before I could try running. But major life changes (break-up, move home, career path possibly changing, everything) fueled my desire to run even more and I had to prove the doctors wrong, and I did. Here I am again, October, in the middle of marathon training for a November race, hoping to BQ. Pushing boundaries, and letting my running be fueled by stress and emotions that are running my life, not always bad things the good can fuel too. I feel like I am running smarter and stronger this year, which is weird, but hey whatever works.
Living Situation
Oct 2011: living with the boyfriend, who did nothing to help with anything. I spent a lot of time alone, and it didn't feel like home. Lived in a small town, where I knew no one. Hated it, no one ran in the town, only good thing is the beautiful trail that was nearby.
Oct 2012: :Living in The 'city' now with my best friend who moved back from Florida, its me, her and her boyfriend ( and his 3 year old son a few days a week), its weird...but its nice. Erin and I get along so well because we have been best friends for 7 years. We are crazy together and I love her but we are different in a lot of ways too. And I constantly feel like the 3rd wheel living with a couple. UGH.So again, I spend a lot of time alone too. One big thing I love about where we are though, is I am so close to everything, there are so many people running, and biking and doing healthy things all the time around here, its a great thing to see that and be around it, It is a positive influence.
Job Situation
Oct 2011: Being waitress extraordinaire, dealing with drama of working in bar/restaurant....taking some classes, trying to figure out if I still want to finish Nursing school (there's many reasons behind this...that is a whole other issue.)
Oct 2012: Still being waitress and hostess with the mostess. But dear god get me out of this Biz. I want normal hours and stability. Resumes out, applications in, interviews to be had. Someone please just give me something better. Still not sure what to do about school.
Stance on Life in General
Oct 2011: Running from life, running from problems, cant see the bright side. Struggling to hold on to anything.
Oct 2012: I know there is good out there, I know that one day everything will all make sense, I know that there is someone for me, that a BQ can be had, that a better job is waiting. But damnit, why do I have to be so patient. I am 25, young enough to have so much time ahead, but do I have to wait to start the rest of my life when I am beyond ready to start it now?
I feel like so much has changed and so much is the same.
LAME.
As I sit here trying to look at how things have changed in a year, I realize how they are so much the same too. "The more things change the more they stay the same"
Some of the different, but yet not so different things from October 2011-October 2012
Relationship Status
Oct 2011: Long term relationship with someone who didn't respect the things that are important to me, took me for granted, I spent a LOT of time alone, I had to be the one to take care of everything, found myself looking for the things I needed in places they just would never be. Very emotional time, being with someone who doesn't make time for you (even when you live together), someone who doesn't make you feel wanted or needed or desired, someone who takes everything you do for them for granted, disrespects anything that's important to you, doesn't support you when you need it most....
Oct 2012: No longer in that relationship, spend a lot of time alone, but have a much better support system this year, struggling with trying to find someone who can give me what I need, and who will appreciate all I have to offer. The question still remains, will I ever find someone who will make me a priority?
Running Status
Oct 2011: Recovering from a #marathonfail, well not really...Rochester 26.2 was hardly a #marathonfail, it was PR, but not a BQ and the first time EVER having to walk during a race. Mentally I was struggling trying to tell myself that one race doesn't define you. I was training for a race (Harrisburg 26.2) that was going to be my redemption race. But more than anything my running was being fueled by the stress and emotional turmoil of everything going on in my life.
Oct 2012: Due to my shitty car accident in April (which left me with a totaled car, Broken foot, Nerve damage in my feet and legs, and a whole mess of other shit-tastic problems), I shouldn't be able to run right now. At the time doctors told me it would be at least 6 months before I could try running. But major life changes (break-up, move home, career path possibly changing, everything) fueled my desire to run even more and I had to prove the doctors wrong, and I did. Here I am again, October, in the middle of marathon training for a November race, hoping to BQ. Pushing boundaries, and letting my running be fueled by stress and emotions that are running my life, not always bad things the good can fuel too. I feel like I am running smarter and stronger this year, which is weird, but hey whatever works.
Living Situation
Oct 2011: living with the boyfriend, who did nothing to help with anything. I spent a lot of time alone, and it didn't feel like home. Lived in a small town, where I knew no one. Hated it, no one ran in the town, only good thing is the beautiful trail that was nearby.
Oct 2012: :Living in The 'city' now with my best friend who moved back from Florida, its me, her and her boyfriend ( and his 3 year old son a few days a week), its weird...but its nice. Erin and I get along so well because we have been best friends for 7 years. We are crazy together and I love her but we are different in a lot of ways too. And I constantly feel like the 3rd wheel living with a couple. UGH.So again, I spend a lot of time alone too. One big thing I love about where we are though, is I am so close to everything, there are so many people running, and biking and doing healthy things all the time around here, its a great thing to see that and be around it, It is a positive influence.
Job Situation
Oct 2011: Being waitress extraordinaire, dealing with drama of working in bar/restaurant....taking some classes, trying to figure out if I still want to finish Nursing school (there's many reasons behind this...that is a whole other issue.)
Oct 2012: Still being waitress and hostess with the mostess. But dear god get me out of this Biz. I want normal hours and stability. Resumes out, applications in, interviews to be had. Someone please just give me something better. Still not sure what to do about school.
Stance on Life in General
Oct 2011: Running from life, running from problems, cant see the bright side. Struggling to hold on to anything.
Oct 2012: I know there is good out there, I know that one day everything will all make sense, I know that there is someone for me, that a BQ can be had, that a better job is waiting. But damnit, why do I have to be so patient. I am 25, young enough to have so much time ahead, but do I have to wait to start the rest of my life when I am beyond ready to start it now?
I feel like so much has changed and so much is the same.
LAME.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)